So Long to the Battlefield

donewithbf3That’s it, I’m done…

Back in October 2011 most of the reviews of Battlefield 3 were like this…


When you are running full tilt down an alley, literally hopping over obstacles with your legs swinging, it feels so life like you say to yourself, wow, is this cool.”


Bulls**t, what is this guy, 12?

I’ve never tripped over so many non-existent rocks or felt so out of contact with the terrain in a game since the PC version of Battlezone.  Yeah, Frostbite 2 is pretty but it’s not the second coming.  Collision detection is about as good as Borderlands 2 and moving around the maps is only slightly better.  I can’t count how many times I’ve spent in vain trying just to run up a flight of stairs.


“I have played most of the maps more than a few times, and never once did I feel like I was trapped by prone snipers.”


Again, I repeat, Bulls**t.  We’ve all had the experience of the A-hole camped out on a hill overlooking the enemy base racking up spawn kills.   Or maybe it’s the Jet aces who can take out opposing aircraft before they even get off the ground.  Don’t even get me started with the aimbot hacks.

Look, at this point the novelty has definitely worn off and all EA cares about is milking the franchise with DLC, paid perks (shortcut kits) and “Premium” memberships that keep the more frugal amongst us relegated to second class status.

What follows is my list of “I’m tired(s)”

  • I’m tired of being kicked off of servers because of issues outside of my control like say a version incompatibility with PUNKBUSTER.  I mean c’mon, PUNKBUSTER?  That creaky POS didn’t work on anything but the most moronic of hacks in the 90’s why do they still use it?
  • I’m tired of losing points, bonuses, medals and ribbons because a server hiccup drops me off a server.
  • I’m tired of not getting credit for a kill when I’m the only person who shot at the enemy.
  • I’m tired of unloading an entire clip of an assault rifle at point blank range into an enemy player and getting taken out with one shot of their pistol.
  • I’m tired of knife attacks being almost completely indefensible unless they come straight at you.  Don’t give me that crap about hearing them sneak up either, that’s Bulls**t.
  • I’m tired of EA’s insistence on using a web browser as the front end of its game.
  • I’m tired of having to go online just to play cooperative mode.  Even Borderlands 2 has a LAN mode!
  • I’m tired of ever fewer servers available to non-Premium players.
  • I’m tired of stat lags taking up to 24 hours to resolve.
  • I’m tired of server lag on connections with less than a 50ms ping.
  • I’m tired of being bounced off of servers halfway through a game because a private server’s “VIP member” joined the game.
  • I’m tired of issues on the tiny number of “official” EA servers (which rarely show up in browse lists) causing the rest of the servers to develop ridiculous lag times.
  • I’m tired of Dice’s constant fiddling with game mechanics  just to wrench the latest DLC into the rest of the game or satisfy a bunch of whiners.
  • I’m tired of surprise maintenance windows and hours long multi-gigabyte downloads to satisfy DLC that I’LL NEVER BUY!
  • I’m tired of half of the servers that I CAN get on being populated by hackers that EA/Dice either can’t or won’t address.
  • I’m tired of map bugs and glitches in a game that’s going on 2 years old still not being addressed.
  • I’m tired of the auto balance system in general.  I’ve yet to see it create an evenly matched set of teams.  It’s only data points are length of time on the server and how many players are on each side.  If you’ve got 20 level 50 colonels against 30 level 20 “whatever’s” who do you think is going to win?   Auto balance won’t help you there.
  • I’m tired of stupid administrative options on ranked servers that allow restrictions on weapons or have 4 figure ticket counts.  Ever get bounced for using a sniper rifle? I have.  How about 1500 ticket conquest maps or 2000 point death matches?  Those are just endurance contests and no fun unless you like sticking pins in your eyeballs.
  • I’m tired of Bulls**t stats that ding me for quitting a server that I got disconnected from by no fault of my own.

Finally, I’m just sick of wasting my time and not enjoying the game anymore.  It used to be out of 10 games at least half would be worth playing.  Now it’s less than 1.  I’ve invested over 200 hours in Battlefield 3 and managed to make it to a 1 star colonel.  All without hacks or a “Premium” membership.

That’s not bad for someone without a “sh*t bucket” (Battlefield Friends reference BTW).  The game is all about EA’s money machine, Rambo wannabe’s and hacks.  It really hasn’t been fun in months.

Perhaps that’s the lesson of video games.  After a year, regardless of DLC, most of them run their course and you’re looking toward the next chapter of the story.  I play games to have fun not to stroke my ego or massage any dark sociopathic tendencies.  Outside of the hacks that’s all you’ll find on the ranked servers now.

Which is exactly why I’m against subscription models and paid DLC.   The reality is that after 6 months there’s nothing new under the sun.  DLC just gives you new maps that tend to fall out of favor in a few weeks.  Weapon upgrades and new game modes are just variants on what’s already there.  You’re literally beating a dead horse.

Which is why I’m done.  I’ve officially uninstalled Battlefield 3 from all my PC’s preserving only my saved games and player status for any bonuses it affords me when Battlefield 4 comes out.   Which I’m sure I’ll have had quite enough of about a year after ITS release as well.

So long for now, Battlefield.  The first 6 months were fun…

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